This venue in Fredericksburg was a nice little Irish pub in a somewhat remote location. When we arrived, the first thing I noticed was that there were about five huge motorcycles parked outside and a few stereotypical bikers enjoying a relaxing meal on the patio. This gave me very high hopes for the show’s atmosphere. I thought that maybe I’d enjoy a nice bar fight or two… maybe learn some kind of auto-mechanics. But alas. 8:13 pm: 5 bikers exit the bar. I’m sure it was just bad timing though. They must have had some kind of conflict which prevented them from staying for the show. Harley Davidson convention?

                Anyway, after the fine gentlemen in leather departed, I began to unpack my merch and found that we have new things to sell! I was so excited I could have peed myself like a little puppy. Pink shirts! Green shirts! Panties!!! I find myself locked in this constant conundrum where I make a limited amount of money with the guys and then immediately want to spend it all on the items I sell…

I hope no one thinks that the previous paragraph was any sort of cheap plug. This blog is honestly completely separate from my sales position.

But seriously… buy things.

So around 8:50 pm, I positioned the products and perched for awhile. The guys started a little late so I doodled in my notebook and pretended to be jotting down important notes for about half an hour. Finally around 10:45 the guys started and sounded awesome, per usual. Meanwhile, I kept a steady eye on who came and left:

10:09 pm- starting total is 9 people in the entirety of the first floor, excluding the band and myself. But it’s still early yet…

10:15 pm- +4 people!!! …-2. (it’s fine, the two who left were lame anyways)

10:28 pm- +2 people….oh wait never mind, they’re at the wrong bar.

10:38 pm- +1 older woman in a tunic. Later she’ll begin a slow clap that no one else follows because the song hadn’t ended yet. But she was actually very, very sweet and told the guys how much she enjoyed their music. Who doesn’t? You go tunic woman, right on.

By 10:48 there were a total of 10 fans in the main concert room, but I think, despite the bad weather, there were a bunch of other people throughout the bar just hiding in corners or out back or behind doors because after the show, tons of new faces were approaching me to buy things or shaking hands with the band, etc.

Overall, it was an excellent event and everyone who was lucky enough to attend and stay had a terrific time! This includes Shannon (shout out), who was extremely helpful as well as incredibly fun to have around on this trip and, furthermore, who taught me the difference between a groupie and a roadie. Roadies are invited, Groupies just come….I think that was it.

And then Collin knocked down a bar stool. The end.

Last Thursday I embarked on the typical road trip with The Influence. Well, I take that back, it was a little atypical in that the van was equipped with a gas cap this time, but overall it was pretty much the same old routine.  Contrary to what I’ve found to be popular belief, the van is actually really relaxing and comfortable! Therefore, I have very few road stories aside from detailing dreams I’ve had, but that’s a tangent I’m not prepared to go off on. However, I am fully prepared to give a [fairly] detailed account of my experiences in Hatteras and Kill Devil Hills.

The first thing I learned about the Outer Banks in general is that there are no locals at bars, or if there are they’re very reluctant to make themselves known. The second thing I learned is that tourists make for very good people-watching subjects, but sub-par social interaction. For example, I watched as a couple made a scene on the dance floor. I understand that The Influence plays excellent dance music and I’d be out there gettin down myself if I wasn’t so reluctant to leave the Merch Perch, but I don’t consider cowboy boots a license to ride your boyfriend…at least not in public.

            Just as I was judging these people and their bad Western-themed relationship, I was brought back to reality by the sting of shards of glass flying into my legs. I turned around to see what the hell was going on and was met with a deer-in-headlights-esque stare from the man sitting behind me, hand still poised in glass-dropping position. Our eyes locked for a good 30 seconds before he literally jumped out of his seat and bolted for the door. Who are these people?

            Every other interaction was the classic run in with severely inebriated men with intensive short term memory loss and fans in the audience throwing out rock hands. I never cease to be amused by the serious use of rock hands. Who started rock hands?? I guess that’s a google search for another day.

            Now, in Hatteras, I learned that outdoors, all-age gigs in tourist-saturated areas are not as enjoyable as gigs in bars. Reasons: 1) a man with a heavy southern accent and killer mustache shouted expletives at the 14-yr-old girl sitting next to me. Subsequently, he refused to buy a t-shirt from me because the shirts didn’t have pockets for his menthol cigarettes. 2) the pack of kids swarming around the Perch were almost more annoying than the mosquitoes eating my flesh. They were so loud that I missed the guys’ cover of Karma Police. I love that song.  3) a non-band member played the broom stick on stage during one of the last songs. Don’t worry though, it’s fine. It’s his thing….

            Overall, though, Hatteras really opened my eyes to 3 main things: the myriad ways that Hatteras is comparable to Mexico, the importance of surfing, and that Ocracoke is quite possibly the best city in the United States.

Hatteras, like Mexico, has taco stands and tends to be hot. The Influence might as well have been a mariachi band. Ocracoke is a great location for surfing and fishing. Surfing needs no explanation. Just support it. Mexico. Ocracoke. Surfing. Mexico. I think my brain is about to Bleed Out.

            But the most important thing I learned in OBX was from Matt: Scabies are a foul, yet treatable, skin disease and anyone who has it should seriously just consult a physician to take care of it.

And with this, I bid you adieu.

This being my first blog entry, I’d like to begin with a little background information on how I came into this position as the Merch Girl for The Influence, the legendary musical group. It all began on Father’s Day 2010. I had just given my dad his obligatory bathroom-humor themed card and some kind of tie when I received a text message from my dearest friend, Katina. The message read as follows: “Dude, call me back as soon as you can. There’s something you might want to know about”. Now maybe I’m just a naturally anxious person, but to me that’s really ominous. It sounds like someone’s contaminated my Facebook with slanderous wallposts! Therefore, preparing myself for some kind of impending doom, I ditched father’s day to make the call. Instead of a portal to hell, this text was actually the beginning of my behind the scenes glimpse into the music industry. Now, fast-forwarding to the present date, I have taken a seat at my merchandise table- the Merch Perch, if you will- for a solid three shows and am ready to reveal the wealth of things I have learned thus far; for, being a fan and working with the band itself are two different perspectives entirely.

1)      You know those 2-3 really ridiculous fans you observe in the crowd and write off as either being wasted or just having some innate mental deficiency? The band usually knows them! Several of my best friends from high school attended the last show at the Jewish Mother in VA Beach and one by one they would approach the perch and point out to me some crazy weirdo in the audience. Each time I was able to say “yeah! I met them earlier! They’re actually pretty cool!” or “yeah! One of the guys introduced me to them, they’re fucking weird in that they look and act like characters from science fiction novels” or occasionally, “Yeah, I heard stories about them. Apparently they send questionable paraphernalia to the guys’ houses…” In any event, it’s interesting to see all of these absurd people from an inside point of view. But it’s not only absurd people that make my job so rewarding, but even ordinary people in bizarre situations.

2)      Point number 2 is not really its own new point, but instead anecdotal evidence behind point number 1. Sitting at my table by the bar, I watched as Mike Powers from 96x’s popular radio show, “The Mike and Bob Show”, was reunited with his long lost 3^rd cousin. Phone calls were made to verify the theory that these men share in the same gene pool and it was, in fact, confirmed. Being just a fan, I would have never witnessed this exchange, but because I am now The Merch Girl (I’ve become comfortable with capitalizing my title at this point), I witness a lot of really odd and entertaining situations.

3)      On a different note entirely, I’ve also learned how to use a wireless credit card reader. I’d just like to point out how well-rounded my experience has been. Not only am I practically an experienced sociology expert by now, but also an engineer of sorts.

4)      With respect to the band, I’ve learned they just relax and have a good time at the shows….most of the time. Actually I rarely know what’s going on with them, they hide everything well. The only bit of hidden information I’ve uncovered at this point is that Chris gives away copious hugs after a solid night at the bar. I hope they’re not blackout hugs, though, or else this will just sound seedy on my behalf…

5)      And finally, I have learned the appropriate length of a blog from the following website, which I took the time to google, http://modernl.com/article/how-long-is-the-ideal-blog-post. Because I have already exceeded the recommended length according to its very scientific distribution, I will end my entry here.